I have lived a miserable Christian life for many years. I was taught I had to do good to make it to heaven and was never taught about grace. The harder I tried, the more I failed. I have been married and divorced three times. I’ve felt embarrassed and felt like a failure.

I was born into a Christian family where we had daily prayers and Bible study. Since childhood, I was taught to read and memorize the Scriptures religiously. Growing up, I was an introvert and didn’t have many friends. As a result, I didn’t have anyone to share my happiness or sadness with. I also didn’t share my distresses with my parents as I didn’t want to trouble them or be judged by them.

In the past five years, I had sent various prayer requests to Joseph Prince Ministries for my 27-year-old son, who was deep in an addiction to crystal meth. He had found it difficult to accept his father’s death and had gone into a downward spiral, with the drug taking control of his life and causing him to do some terrible things.

Growing up, I never knew who God was. But when I finally found Jesus, I realized that my perspectives on God were different from my parents’. I had no choice but to adhere to my parents’ perspectives and rules. Every time I reminded myself that God loves me and He is merciful, people around me would tell me that I was not enough and that I would still end up in hell because of the sins I had committed.

I grew up without my mother, so my grandmother had to fill in the role as my mother. When she passed away, my life went downhill. My family had little time for me, and I lived a rebellious lifestyle. With little guidance, I got into bad company. At the age of sixteen, I was drinking almost every day, and smoking up to one and a half packets of cigarettes daily. I even got hooked on drugs for a period of time.