I had been a believer for over forty years but I was miserable. I was addicted to wine and taking medication for insomnia. I was also depressed and hated my life. I lost my godmother, my father, and my best friend of over 25 years. I also lost my job, house, and other family members.

I am an ordained minister who was under another ministry for seventeen years. Our family had been very active in that ministry and even traveled with them. We were tithing, sowing, and even giving our mortgage money to support the ministry.

Yet, my family and I felt so condemned when we did not have the money to give the amount that was asked. I felt such disparity and knew something was wrong but did not know what it was.

A couple of years ago, I started a job in public transit that required me to work all over the city in different subway stations every night. As a junior employee, I had to man and close these stations till two o’clock in the morning.

In my city, there are people who like to loiter around at night and make trouble. Most of them would be intoxicated or high on drugs, causing trouble for customers and transit employees like me.

A month ago, my daughter was retrenched from her job. My husband had also been informed earlier this year that the company he was working in would be shut down. I am also jobless due to a lower back injury. Things seemed bleak and I worried about how we were going to pay our bills.

I was raised as a Christian and had accepted Christ in 1985. The many Christian churches I went to always taught a mixture of law and grace, and I was a lukewarm Christian. My dad was a womanizer and I grew up seeing how my mum suffered as a result. This and the lack of a father’s love made me believe wrongly and accept a man whom I thought was giving me the right kind of love.